


Slowly, it would all get better

by eunnior



Category: GOT7
Genre: I'm moving more towards reality than relationships, angst I'm sorry, bullying!, just a lil though, suicidal! thoughts, warnings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 10:49:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11206533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eunnior/pseuds/eunnior
Summary: Basically, have you ever wondered, why is Jinyoung the Mother of GOT7?





	1. Chapter 1

Jinyoung sat at the staircase of JYP Entertainment's training centre, crying.  
It wasn't meant to be like this. He wasn't suppose to leave being of him. They were suppose to debut together, all four of them. Why must the company be so harsh? It's okay even if he didn't suit our concept. It wasn't meant to be like this.

 

It had been a month since Jinyoung arrived and joined as a trainee of JYP Entertainment. He grew bonds with many people. It was one of the best time of his life after coming to Seoul to persue his dreams. All four of them, Jaebum, Wonpil, Jinyoungie and Shownu had clicked so easily together. Of course occasionally with the other four maknaes, Yugyeom, BamBam, Jackson and Mark, who were the foreigners so they were closer to Shownu only.

 

But everything had to go wrong since they started planning for their debut. They were suppose to debut with a song called "Dreams", which was a song with a cutesy concept that suited Jinyoung since he was still young, cute and immature. They were all delighted. As long as you were able to debut with your favourite friends, what could go wrong?

 

It was then when the company decided to remove Shownu from the team, with the mere reason of him being "manly" and that he didn't suit the concept of the song. Hence they decided to go with Mark, Jinyoung, Jaebum, Youngjae, Jackson, Bambam and Yugyeom.

 

Everyone was devastated, and it came to the point that no one knew what to do. The boys tried pleading PD-nim to let Shownu stay, promising that they were able to create a new song with a better concept, that was able to fit everyone. It was all fallen to dead ears. Jinyoung was terrified, shocked beyond words. Jaebum was furious, and so was Wonpil. But what could they do? They were trainees that had a dream. They could not disobey their company if they wanted to debut.

 

Soon, the last few days of Shownu's trainee time with them had come to an end. He had to leave to rejoin another company that JYP Ent. had planned for him. Jinyoung was beyond upset. His beloved Shownu hyung, who had guided him so much when they were training, treated him on meals and helped him fit in with the boys even though he just newly joined, had to leave so arruptly. Shownu was definitely upset, but he decided to put on a strong image in order for his dongsangs to continue to strive for their dreams. He acted as though he was okay, and pleaded everyone to not be upset for him.

 

Jaebum, being Jaebum, was furious. He tried to argue with the staff, and even almost went physical with them. He was greatly reprimanded, and that was also a major breaking point for him. He was at lost, and he didn't know what to do to solve this problem. How could they do this to their beloved hyung, who had trained so hard together with him, who only looked forward to debut. And now all they could tell him is that he couldn't debut. What bullshit is this? He was upset, upset with everyone that went into his way, and it was till then when he realied that all this had happened because of Jinyoung. If Jinyoung, stupid cute Jinyoung, never had joined JYP Ent. as a trainee, nothing would had happened! The staff wouldn't have had to change the concept because of him! It's all his fault! He was furious, so all he felt was anger. The other members thought the same. If only Jinyoung wasn't here, none of this would have happened.

 

It was only a few days after Shownu Hyung had left, when everything began to change for Jinyoung. He realised that everyone around began cold towards him, and had dreaded him for Shownu's departure. He couldn't really blame them anyway, it was true that the company had to change the concept because of him. He began blaming himself too. Of course, trainings had to continue and life went on. However, Jinyoung was not happy anymore, and he learned more about keeping to yourself, learning to be more self-disciplined, and to stop playing around so much. The members had failed to realise that he was really guilty because of Shownu's departure too. They could only think of blaming him. But he hoped that the members were able or accept him for who he were, and not torment h because Shownu has already left for good. (I mean, even if I were to add JJProject into this, it would have been logical too)

"Yah! Park Jinyoung! Are you doing that choreograph right? Stop dreaming! Get yourself together! It's all because of you that Shownu Hyung had to leave, so you better had show your stupid 'talents' and grow up!" Im Jaebum shouted as they were in the perks of practising for Girls Girls Girls, their new debut song that the company has changed again. Even though clearly Yugyeom and BamBam were playing around, they just had to pick on him.

"Yes, Hyung. I'm sorry. I'll do better" Jinyoung mumbled as he looked at his feet. He did not dare to look up and decided on 'practising practising practising'. Even the staff that were in favour of Shownu had despised him too. He did not have "true friends" already, so all he wanted to do was to work hard and debut.

 

"Aish, you're always like this! Stay back today and practice!"

 

It has been like this for a while already. Jinyoung was forced to stay back to practise, when he has clearly known the choreograph at the back of his hand. He could even be claimed as one of the best dancers. It was probably a way for them to look avoid his presence, since they all lived in the same dorm. He would usually practise to 1am, having the whole practise room to himself, where he would cry, vent his anger and could enjoy the peace of being alone. He was upset and almost wanted to leave the company for good. But his dying spirit to persue his dreams kept him going on for months, for years.

 

Whenever he returned to the dorm, it was always pretty late, so most members would he fast asleep. Not wanting to trouble his manager, he'd always take a bus down back to dorm. If the members are not asleep, or wake up in the middle of the night to use the toilet, they were never nice. And they constantly criticised him, saying he's fat, he's ugly, and he should have never been put into the team. What was he actually good at? He used to questions himself. He wasn't the best dancer, Yugyeom was. He couldn't sing as powerfully as Youngjae or Jaebum, and he certainly couldn't rap like Mark. He was like a useless presence in the team. The old cheerful, bubbly and talkative Jinyoung was long gone. All was left was Jinyoung who was clearly insecure. And wanted to improve himself more to prove to the others that he was, in fact, talented too. He prayed every single night that. 'Slowly, it would all get better' and that everyone would love him again and let him fit in.

we were best friends.

we went through thick and thin together.

we told each other everything.

now we are ńothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hellloooooooo I hope you enjoy this

'you guys were laughing again. snickering and staring, pointing fingers at me. It took me awhile to realise, that you guys weren't laughing at an inside joke, but a joke that was me.' 

 

"Argh, get your ugly face out of my sight! Just get your share of ramen and get to your room! We don't like your presence!" Mark had been heartless to make that remark. But Jinyoung was used to it. After months of being treated like an outsider, he learned his place. Of not making any remarks, just keeping to yourself and keep low. That way, they wouldn't critisize him that much. And it would certainly not bring up a fight.

 

"Yes Hyung, thank you though." 

 

He took his share and trottered back to his room, hearing snickers that he wished he hadn't. Jinyoung sighed. Things were suppose to be better, but no one had accepted him yet, and they still despised him. 

 

"Yah guys we've got to go soon, manager just called that our schduele changed and we have to go for practise now." Jaebum had shouted. Jinyoung didn't hear it though, he was busy calling his old childhood friend back in Jinhae. All the members had gotten ready except for Jinyoung, who was still on the phone. 

 

"Park Jinyoung! We just said that there is morning practise today and we're leaving now! What are you still doing? Would you ever learn?" A kick to the stomach made Jinyoung goan in pain. He was shocked and scared.

 

"I didn't hear it Hyung, I'm really sorry! I'll get ready now!" He scrambled to change and ran out of the house just a minute later. 

 

The members glared at him and reprimanded him for being so careless. They made heartless remarks that made Jinyoung want to cry, but he held on and perceived that they weren't worth his tears.

 

"Jinyoung! Can you please stop singing? It's so out of tune and you have no vocal power at all. How are we gona debut with a member like you?" 

 

Comments like these made Jinyoung feel so bad. It's like as if they're saying: "Shownu would have done so much better if he was around", and that made him guilty as hell. But it wasn't as though he could change the fact that Shownu Hyung wasn't around anymore. He just wanted them to treat him like a member. Was it that hard? 

 

He wished he hadn't had joined JYP Ent. 

 

He wished that he didn't have a dream of being an idol. And mostly,

 

He'd wish that he wasn't born.

 

"Jinyoung! Park Jinyoung! Why are you out in the living room again? We asked you to stay in your room! Stop walking out! We don't want to see you face or hear you talk!" Jackson had scowled. 

 

"No... I'm just here to take my masks...."

 

"You'd really like to make us mad right?"

 

"No.. I don't know what you're talking about..."

 

"Tell me, do you even respect us as Hyungs?"

 

After being met with silence, Jackson was way beyond pissed.  
"Answer me!"

 

"Ye, Hyung...I'm sorry I'm sorry. I won't appear again."

 

"Aish, don't you guys think he needs a beating to let him learn his place?" Yugyeom had suggests. The boys had snickered and agreed. How could you... maknae! 

 

"No...no... I'm sorry! I-I-I learned my mistake! Don't beat me up please... there's still practise tomorrow and I won't be able to dance..."

 

"Haha! You think we care about you?" 

 

Jinyoung had wanted to scream, But his throat didn’t cooperate, and he knew he would get into worded trouble if he had. His stomach turned and he felt the humiliation in his bones.  
The shame held his voice hostage and Jaebum's arm was pressed against his arteries. Someone punched him hard in a gut that made in groaned in pain. The stinging pain had pushed air out of his lungs and he was angry. How could they do this to him! They were his members after all! Another punch to the gut and he started to feel sickly. 

 

He coughed and struggled in Jaebum's grip, while the boys took turns to humiliate and cause pain to him. Air rushed out of him as he struggled to breathe and cope with the pain.The fear took over his body now, trying to tell him to get away from them and the shame made place until the very last inch of his body was filled with overwhelming fear. His heart thumped like crazy and he wriggled around, punching around him, but never really hitting anyone in his scope. He only had one choice and that is to deal with it. 

 

The few minutes felt like hours when the other members had their fun and decided to stop. Jinyoung was left in the living room as the boys went to bed as though nothing really happened. He felt so much like dying and questioned why did he deserve so much pain. 

 

Jinyoung managed to patch himself up, not before slicing a few to his ribs, using the pen knife that was kept in his pocket. 

 

Why was the world so cruel? Jaebum and Jackson, his former best friends, even had the nerve and courage to even beat him up. He still had the smallest hope that they would soon learn to accept him again, but it was all crushed in a matter of minutes. 

 

if only  
I could  
turn back time  
to the better and happier days  
before this hell turned loose

**Author's Note:**

> remember to leave kudos hehe


End file.
